Becoming a mom can be a lonely road. I am very social and pretty plugged in places. Despite that, I remember times of feeling very alone. Sometimes people become stay at home moms when they are used to going to an office everyday. They had everyday interactions with other adults and suddenly have a baby staring up at them. You go from complete independence where you can do whatever you want, and it is easy to get out and go. Suddenly, you have a baby that has a schedule, a load of things to take with you and a whole lot of dependence on you. Getting up and going is no longer easy. It takes a lot of work. Therefore, a lot of mothers isolate themselves and feel alone. It can cause a lot of anxiety. You may feel a bit lost, like I did, by the whole parenting process. You feel that even though you are now surrounded by another human being 24/7 (or a number of them), it can feel like the loneliest time of your life. Try and fight against that. Even though it’s harder to coordinate play dates because of nap conflicts, feeding schedules or other commitments, try and make socialization a priority. Women are bent toward interacting with other humans. We are known as “social creatures.” Back in the day, people lived in villages. In many cultures, they still do. Families were closer to support and help. We would see parenting modeled more because we didn’t used to live so isolated. Life, especially life in America, often lacks that village feel. I had two village type experiences lately. One was when I went and stayed with my little sister and her five kids for a few days. Her husband was at a conference and mine was working, so it was us two ladies together with 8 kids 24/7. It was so much easier than usual. We were living life together. We were being the village – cooking, cleaning, sharing, playing. It made me feel like our society is missing out by not living closer. It made me want to develop my own compound. I also went on vacation recently, and we were living with two other families in a big house. They would take our kids and we would take theirs. We were cooking for each other. If someone had to run to the store, they could leave their kids behind. It was a team effort to make everything happen, and we shared each others burdens as well as spending time to laugh and talk. So, what do you do? Find people. Easy, right? I know it is sometimes hard, but I’d still encourage you to make it happen. I know there are MOPS (mother of preschool) programs, stroller strides (or other such exercise classes), classes you can do with your child where you can meet other parents, churches, and connecting with old friends. My closest friend is amazing at just becoming friends with people at parks. Try and reach out and connect yourself. Facebook and mom blogs can’t fulfill the social needs you have. It will benefit you to build relationships with other moms. You’ll suddenly learn that you are not the only one with questions. You are not the only one who has children who fall apart. You are not the only one striving to make it all work. You begin to live life together. We were create to live in relationships. Make it happen.
