Father’s Day is coming up. This is actually our picture from last Father’s Day. I hope you are thinking of a way to honor your husband on this day. Keep in mind his love language (physical touch, gift of time, gifts, words of affirmation or service) as you are coming up with ideas. All that said, try and make their dad a hero with the kids. Men are often have well intentions but need guidance. To gently encourage your husband to be the hero with the kids will benefit your family. For older kids, it might be saying, “Honey, Kenzie has a dance coming up, I bet it would mean a lot to her if you took her to pick out a dress.” For younger kids, it might mean encouraging dad to suggest a favorite play place or going out for ice cream. Lovingly (without nagging), set him up for success as the dad. Feed him ideas that everyone would enjoy and let him suggest it. Also, watch your words with the kids. Always talk positively about their dad when he is or isn’t around. My husband makes it a priority to be home a lot. However, it’s never enough for the kids (or me quite frankly). We’d all love him around all the time. When they say they wish he was home, I might say something like. “I know. I do too. He’s such a good dad, and we love him so much. He is also so good at his work, and it’s so great that he gets to go to work so that we can buy the things we need. Isn’t your dad great?” I do know you won’t always feel it. I do know that some of you have come from an icky divorce. However, it will not add any benefit to tear down their dad in front of them. It will only harm your relationship with them, their relationship with him and make your relationship with him worse. If you know he’s not going to follow through on showing up for a birthday or the big game, you don’t need to make him out to be the hero in front of your kids…saying he’s come when he won’t. Don’t build them up for disappointment. However, don’t bash him either. Try your best, to only say positive things. Looking for the positive can also transform the way you think about him.
Such a good post! This is how Father’s Day should be and how dad’s should be recognized.
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Great post. I try to do my best to up-talk my very sweet husband in front of my baby, but sometimes slip up. This is a great reminder for me. I think it is also just as important (or maybe more?) for divorced or separated parents to speak well of one another in front of their children too. I realize that’s probably a whole ‘nother ball game of difficult, but oh-so-essential for the kids.
Totally! Thanks so much for sharing. I have found it good, general advice for talking with anyone – friends, family, etc. I try and take it straight to him. It’s sometimes really hard.