I have a file folder where I’ve kept information I’ve collected on parenting through different means. I really don’t know where this information came from…looks like some parenting class I attended. I’ve attended a lot since it’s a big passion, and I’ve felt like I need it. I thought this was an interesting concept as I was revisiting it today, and I thought I’d pass it along. It’s all about trying to assess the motive behind the behavior and deal with it based on that. Here’s what I wrote:
A Antecedent – What happened before the behavior?
B Behavior – What are we looking at?
C Consequence – What happens immediately after?
Both A & B deal with the main motivation behind the behavior, which is usually some sort of the following:
1. Attention
2. Avoidance of Task
3. Responding to Denial of Something
Appropriate Consequences for Behavior based on the motivation.
1. Attention – Ignore the behavior. We like to remove the child calmly so that there is little distraction. I do this with our happy heart technique. Telling them that I would love to be with them, and they may come back when they are willing to do so with a happy heart. Their time away is then completely determined by them.
2. Avoidance of Task – Give one time, clear directions. Then, give them choices. You need to do….or you will…consequence. Expect them to follow through immediately without argument or give them the determined consequence.
3. Responding to Denial of Something – Do not argue. Do not give in. There is a proper rebuttal process that you can teach too.
what a great resource. i love that happy heart technique. pinned it on my ECED teacher and parenting boards.
Oh cool! When I was told about that technique, it really was a life changer for us, and we’ve used it with all kids. I love that it focuses on their heart but also gives ownership over behavior. I hope it works for you.