I love natural consequences. They are such amazing teaching tools. Respond with empathy but don’t rush to solve the problem for them. Every once in a while offering grace is important too. There are kids who are constantly forgetting their school assignment and their parents are constantly running home to get it for them. Oh, it’s so hard to not want to run home and save them, but sometimes that’s exactly what needs to happen. If your kid is really responsible all the time and forgets it once, it might be a time to offer grace and help out. However, if it is a pattern of irresponsibility you are doing them no favors by saving them all the time. They will spend their lives thinking they’ll always be rescued. When they have a job, they won’t get rescued. They’ll get fired. If they get into college, none of their college professors are going to have grace for forgetting things all the time. You’ll need to teach it when they’re young. Show empathy for the natural consequences. Often times what they’re experiencing is enough. There’s no need for a lecture or an argument. You can respond with a genuine, “That’s a bummer.” You’ll often find me saying, “I’m so sad that happened. I really wanted you to be able to…I’m so bummed that you acted that way because I really wanted you with us.” Let them know that you care but keep your sympathy short and simple and don’t allow room for arguments. Natural consequence are often the best teachers. You can just get out of the way.
we use this method a lot. sort of a love and logic approach.
Totally! I love it when it just happens. Perfect learning opportunity.