· I was recently taught that one of the things that plague firstborns especially is the thought that they have to be perfect all the time (I do have to say that I haven’t seen much of that in my oldest yet). We enter parenthood with ideals that we try and place on our children, and our oldest often get the brunt of it. It often makes them lie to try and cover up their imperfections. I want my kids to learn to be honest with me. I’ve tried to teach them that they’re not perfect. They are going to make mistakes. The most important thing is that they’re willing to be honest and live up to these mistakes. I always go for a lesser punishment and compliment them like crazy when they are willing to tell me about it. I’ll weigh carefully if there needs to be a consequence at all. If our bar is set too high, it’s unattainable for them, they’ll constantly feel like they are failing, and they might just want to give up. For them to understand God’s grace, we need to demonstrate some grace for them. We want to create an environment where communication stays open. Our kids need to understand that all of us make mistakes, and it’s vital that they can admit them freely.
