We want to promote sibling relationships. Part of that is to have the kids working together and supporting each other. What that doesn’t include is tattle telling. That said, I have really appreciated the girls coming to inform me of things that are going on that shouldn’t be happening. I have encouraged the oldest to let me know about things quietly so that I can “discover” them on my own. I don’t want to pit her against her sister. Lately, I’ve noticed a bit more tattle telling with the girls. Our friends told us of a phrase they had heard someone else use. “Are you telling me to get that person in trouble, or are you telling me to keep them from harm?” I like that. I don’t want my kids telling on the other one just because they want to see them get a consequence or get in trouble. It’s hard because I do like to be informed of what’s going on with my kids. However, I think there are some things in which I need to let go of to promote sister bonding. I still need to be informed if it’s dangerous or harmful in any way, so this is a way to encourage coming at appropriate times.
My sister is a kindergarten teacher and has a “tattle turtle”. If a child just “has to” tell someone that something happened but doesn’t need to tell the teacher (ie, no one was harmed and no one is in danger), they can tell the tattle turtle. Very helpful for that age group. I wonder, in a Christian family, if memorizing a proverb about holding one’s tongue or overlooking an offense would be helpful.
Great thoughts. I love feedback like this. Just gives me more inspiration. Thank you for taking the time. Now to find the perfect Proverb.
Understanding the difference between tattling and telling is a concept that my high school students found to be helpful. I though that I might be presenting a topic too “young” for high school level students but found I was wrong. Many actually picked it as one of their top ten important concepts learned that semester. You might like to visit kidpower.org and listen to their podcast on tattling. Here is the link to the podcast. kidpower.org/library/podcasts/tattling-and-telling
I appreciate the fact that you have tried and are willing to share the ideas and activities listed on your blog. Thanks!