We have had some issues with Kenzie lately. Her first reaction to everything was falling apart. She was having a lot of issues with self control. I would send her to the stairs to get a happy heart, but after advice from some close friends, I realized I wasn’t doing a great job of disengaging. I was letting it get to me. I would try to reason with her and engage in the battle. I knew better, but I needed the reminder to disengage in the emotion of it all. It’s so easy for me to get frustrated and try and reason with her. I never give into the tantrum and let her get her own way. However, I realize that I have been giving into the mental game of it all. Therefore, I needed the reminder to disengage. “Kenzie, I love you and want to be with you, but you need to have some time to get self control before we can be together. Come back when you have a happy heart.” Done. Disengage and send her away. If she disobeys at that point there are consequences. However, the battle is over because I’ve tried to mentally go to a different place. Rather than letting it frustrate me, I’ve been trying to just step away…no more discussion. When there’s absolutely no reward or involvement in her fit, she has been pulling it together much more quickly and the emotional break downs are happening less often. It’s hard for a kid to just throw a fit when they don’t see it getting to you and effecting your emotions. That’s what I’m learning anyway.
Great tip! I too have to work on disengaging and walking away when either of my boys are throwing a fit. Thanks for sharing!
It’s powerful. Let me know how it goes.