Catch your children doing well and compliment them like crazy. When I mean like crazy, I mean all the time. Any time a thank you or please comes out of my kids’ mouth I say, “I have such polite girls.” When they obey right away I thank them and give them a compliment. Try to recognize them for the way they’ve behaved in a store, the artwork they’ve created, the thoughtfulness they’ve shown to a friend, the honesty they’ve had in a difficult situation, the way they’re playing with their siblings – everything. Look for the good all the time and acknowledge it. I try and speak the qualities I want in a child. If I catch one behaving who has been challenging lately I say, “Oh, I have a girl who obeys so well” – even if it’s true only in that moment. I have seen them rise to the compliment. I have also seen them rise to their siblings compliment. I say, “Oh, Abby, you obeyed and got your shoes right away. What a good job.” A second later Kenzie is up and running toward her shoes.
My first grade teacher used to do this “Oh look how nicely Tanya has her hands folded and is listening.” Guess what everyone else did next!
In Dale Carnegie Training we call it “Give them a fine reputation to live up to.” Thank you Jodi. I so enjoy your blog.